~ God told me to be an artist, week 68.
Friday 19th April, 2024.
Before I do anything I've got to say, I'm moving my blogs to fortnightly. No big or grand reason other than I need more time for other things each week so the frequency with which I put them out needs to shift for a while.
I might increase it again in the future and make it weekly again, but I might not. Either way, you'll get blogs! Next one will be 02/05/2024!
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Right, on to the main event, actually trying to write something useful or somewhat interesting for you to read.
I come to you from the unusual location of my bed this week. I sprained ankle falling out of a door, as you do. My mum always said when I was a kid I could trip over fresh air, so just keeping up with my brand I guess. Haha.
So I'm laid up in bed, elevating and icing it. I'm desperate to get up and move around but I've gotta say, the rate I'm getting through admin is pretty wonderful. I hate silver linings, but I guess there's one?
I'm on forced leg rest, so tapping away at my computer seems like a good place to be since my brain is still moving like it's a normal day.
There is a strange irony in being forced to rest, especially on a week like this one. Let me explain...
I've been in a whirlwind of anticipation these past few days and weeks. You know how Lorelai Gilmore can smell when it's about to snow [Gilmore Girls TV show reference, sorry if you haven't seen it] ? Well I can smell [or maybe it's more of a sensing] when things are about to 'go'.
Now when I say 'go' I mean advance/ move forward/ accelerate/ expand.
I have weird sixth sense for it, I actually think a lot of us do. There's something in the atmosphere that shifts and whether you believe that it's forces within yourself, the universe, or like me know it to be God, it's undeniable, you can feel it and you know it. There's a flavour of things are about to change.
I can't describe it any better than a sense of knowing that sits so deeply in your core you cannot ignore, refuse or deny it. Whether you want them to or not, things are about to 'go'.
And this time I feel a tidal wave coming. I don't necessarily mean a wave of blessing or gifts are coming, I feel it's more strategic than that. I'm noticing a feeling deep within me that certain connections, alignments and opportunities to step out are what is coming.
It might all sound rather mad, how can a person sense this kind of stuff is around the corner. I don't know how to prove it really, a deep knowing is a deep knowing. It doesn't always [or usually ever in my case] have all the answers or specific detail but it knows.
I just know.
If you think about it humans have always known and sensed things. Think about the indigenous people all over the world, taking cues from their surroundings, nature and their own human responses to guide their paths. Incredibly intuitive and respectful way of living and existing, so deeply connected and much more nuanced and beautiful than I have words to describe.
However, in our modern age we have made many advancements in technology and new ways of connecting etc, that I think there's something we've lost in pouring out attention and reliance onto everything outside of self.
The inner compass can be harder to read as we depend more heavily on the an external object to tell us what to do.
Perhaps we can still hear the still small voice that speaks within us but our ability to trust it has decreased, we long for data feedback and facts to allow us to take a step in any particular direction.
We need proof.
No, don't get me wrong, hard evidence is great for some things. Medicine, clinical trials for example. But I propose we don't need it for everything. We just don't.
Unlike a medical trial where things are tested and proven to work before mainstream use, our lives and the direction we move them in has to be thought of differently. There are times when we can look to fact and evidence and times when there just isn't that available and we have to move without it.
All this to say, I have a sense in me, a deep knowing, that things are about to move and my belief is that certain elements of life are about to level up.
How do I feel I know this? Because I'm uncomfortable.
I'm uncomfy and not in a way that's really painful, just in a way that I feel like my cocoon is about to start splitting and I'll need to fly soon. It's a combination of knowing you've been building up to something, whilst being pretty scared of actually having to do that very thing.
Contradictory and uncomfy.
So how do you manage a time like this, when things inside of you are getting ready to spring forth whilst feelings of discomfort and trepidation rear their heads too?
You pause, just for a moment.
Well at least this works for me anyhow. Try it, let me know how you get on.
I have a few things I am feeling drawn to in order to level up my business for example, so I'm allowing the ideas to exist, I'm exploring them at a steady pace and I'm allowing my calm self to make a choice on how to proceed, not the flappy, anxious or trigger happy one.
I'm pausing, just momentarily, on a few things and taking my next steps from a place of peace.
Interestingly, I'm also noticing an adjustment in attitude towards myself. We all know that brits love to self-deprecate but, I've been talking myself and my abilities down my whole life and I'm feeling a deep call to address this. One thing that's been in my mind, is how can I just walk around like the spirit of God and his plans aren't inside of me? Like for real? This isn't an inflation of self, it's the acknowledging that I am made for a purpose, on purpose and I need to be kind to the body and mind that purpose inhabits. I got to take care of this home and a big part of that is being kinder and more encouraging to it.
This is the much greater and more uncomfortable task for me. But I know it's time, this mindset shift has got to be a priority.
Why do I seem so focused and energetic on something I previously described as uncomfy, because I don't want a comfortable life, not really. I want elements of comfort but I'd much rather be walking in my stride, into the purposes and plans that were designed for me to undertake, that I have been trusted to lead and bring forth.
That all just sounds so much more rewarding to me.
And if that requires discomfort, again, I'm here for it. I know the one who will strengthen me to move through it.
Think about it, as the level up in any video game approaches, the challenge increases, the intensity of the final moments are great, but then you move up, you progress and you get to start on the next chapter of the story and experience new and exciting things.
That's why I'm taking considered steps through to the other side, I want to make it there.
I don't want to be stuck in a cycle of never getting to see what's next.
So I'll be uncomfy for a while, but keep going anyway.
See you in 2 weeks, Cath x
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