~ God told me to be an artist, weeks 72 & 73.
Friday 31st May, 2024.
First of all I am LOVING the blog being every other week. Gives me more time to consider where I place my focus when I write to you. It feels much more intentional and has brought a love of it back. For a minute the blog turned into a chore, which I never wanted it to be.
With that in mind, what a lovely segue to what I want to talk about today: attention and the word no.
I feel drawn to talking about these things because issues with both keep popping up for me. Through life, work, relationships, everything!
The splitting of my attention and learning how to say no to the right things has been a big piece of work for me, I think it is for a lot of people, especially entrepreneurs. Or anyone who is building something new or from scratch.
Let me preface the bulk of this text by saying, I've not got it all sussed, it's ongoing work, but I do think I've noticed some things along the journey so far that could be helpful to you.
I hope so anyway.
Firstly, over the years I've gotten better at simplifying the list of things that are actually important to me. Basically I've dedicated time to figuring out what is worth giving my attention to and how much.
The smaller the list, the easier the task of dividing up my time and resources.
For a long time I was trying to be across too many things - work/ life/ spirituality/ relationships/ dreams/ goals/ rest - and all the subcategories that sit beneath each of these.
The main issue was that I was attempting to show up everywhere and be fantastic in every space.
NOT POSSIBLE.
Sorry for shouting but again for the people in the back, not possible.
I made everything in my life a priority so naturally I was failing or burning out at every turn. Because living at this kind of hyper alert/high energy state with constant stimulus is exhausting and not sustainable.
So in order to enjoy life and develop areas I wanted to I had to reevaluate everything.
It can be an uncomfortable conversation to have with yourself to trim the edges of your life. Especially if you're a people pleaser or a perfectionist. But to make things simpler, some stuff has to be reduced and some has to go.
Now, I'm not talking about a huge cull of people and activities from your life, I'm talking about spending some time considering what the elements of your life mean to you and your future and how much time and energy you can realistically give to them.
Certain things and people require more time, so give them that. I want to stress this, important relationships require resource from you. If you want a good relationship with someone you've got to sow into it. With all I've said above in mind, perhaps don't commit to be 50 people's best friend. Reduce that number perhaps, care for and tend to a smaller core.
Have a few fantastic friendships, not a ton of average ones.
Again, I'm no expert, I've gotten this wrong myself in the past. But it's something I'm always working on, to make sure the core people in my life feel connected to and appreciated by me.
Also, relationships do at times require flexibility, or sudden increases of care. Have less to ensure you can really be there for people when life throws its curve balls.
Next one is for the entrepreneurs - just because you work for yourself doesn't mean you have to accept every opportunity to work that's floated your way. You'll never develop your niche/ area of expertise or have time to dream up new ideas if you just do it all.
Here's a quick fire way to decide if an opportunity is right for you, ask yourself the following questions:
Does this work align with my values?
Does this add value to the groups and communities my work serves?
Will this lead to further opportunities?
Does the fee pay me properly for my time?
Does this work build a connection that is extremely valuable moving forward?
If the answer to these questions is no, think carefully about whether it's actually worth doing.
You can make up your own list of questions if these don't work for you, but these are the ones that help me tremendously when work opportunities come to me or I am looking for them online.
Right, this next point may split the crowd, I'm just going to bite the bullet and say it - I don't think social media is everything and you should chill out about it.
Hear me out. I do post a lot on my IG story and share posts about my work and life, but it fits in around me, not I around it. I refuse to be under siege when it comes to posting and I actually found scheduling even more work when I tried it years ago. I post when I want to and don't stress over the followers and likes.
Put it this way, I do socials how I do them and I still get work. My reputation and proactivity serves my business, socials is more of a record and fun for me. It does lead to some work, but it not my main source. You may think I'm wrong and that's okay. But I'm not going to start panicking and endlessly planning social media, it's not taking up any more time than it already does - this decision has immensely freed me and I highly recommend it!
These are the main areas I continue to work on simplifying. Who & what gets my attention, how much I am willing to give to it and when to say no.
It places greater value on when I say yes and allows me to be human and imperfect.
It's a process and I'll keep refining it as I go, but for now it helps me sleep, it helps me reduce the desire to do everything perfectly, giving me an actual chance to do something really well.
There's enough pressure in this world without the added gunk of self imposed deadlines or unachievable standards. It's not about being either extreme - lazy or unhealthily striving, it's about a place in between that's healthy, has boundaries and the ability to tend to what is important to it's core.
Someone told me at a lunch hangout recently, 'we should never be too content or too ambitious' and it's stuck with me ever since.
So I'll leave you with this...
...what's taking your attention these days and when was the last time you said no?
See you in 2 weeks, Cath x
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